City of Constellations

  1. The city is full of constellations. Citizens argue about their shapes.
  2. The city is on a very fast raft. It follows the moon. Once every four weeks, the city disappears like a Kung-Fu city.
  3. A long time ago, it had a baseball team. When a home run was hit, the fans would jump from the stands and chase down the ball with flashlights.
  4. That one looks like a cell phone tower. That one looks like an oncoming motorcycle at dusk.
  5. Foreign dignitaries seeking souvenirs for their daughters fall for the vials of "stardust" every time.
  6. It would be a mistake to assume the city did not like the sun. The sun is a star.
  7. A boat of astronomers with PhDs follows the city in an inflatable raft. They have long beards and the citizens throw their raccoons at them.
  8. That one looks like a boom box recording from one tape deck to another. That one looks like a CD hanging from a rearview mirror.
  9. People just sleep, whatever.
  10. Every full moon the city sees its reflection. It thinks it looks like a shelf of books.
  11. The former baseball team sports binoculars, plays bongos on the beach.
  12. Cats. Everywhere.
  13. They almost hosted the Olympics but no one could agree on the right way to extinguish the torch: dumpster of sand from a helicopter; or five hundred orphans waving electric blankets.
  14. There is a shortage of teachers, teenage boys. People who quote other people are not allowed.
  15. All the Starbucks have been uprooted and replaced with planetariums but they still have Wi-Fi and they still call them Starbucks.
  16. That one looks like a robot with a severed arm. That one looks like a fish breathing on the deck of a boat.
  17. When the city gets very old and implodes, the rest of the world will say, We really should have seen this coming.
Whoa Yeah Baby
Dave Landsberger

Whoa Yeah Baby

Dave Landsberger

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