Men look at me like they have the thing I want.
That somber hungry forcefield smack on.
  
It lies there. Is he aware?
I cannot see where this will end.
  
I can see where I need to go
but never get there. It's operatic.
  
When I lie in bed my limbs go numb.
When the sky darkens.
  
The urge is there
but also the mandate
  
to damp it down.
Always the urge.
  
Always the mandate.
You're still young, he says,
  
but youth will burst all at once
and be gone forever.